An Open Letter to my Baby Girl: I Love You & You Are Never Alone

"Hope and peace and love and trust, all the world is all of us."  A quote from one of Olivia's favorite books.

Recently the issue of bullying and kiddo meanness have surfaced when talking to other special needs parents.  It made me realize that our battle may be a tough one, but one I know we can win together!

I have a friend whose daughter is 4 and was born with some physical limitations, different but also kind of similar to our Olivia.  The other day we were swapping stories and she shared that her 4 year old was made fun of in a bouncy house because she didn't "hop like everyone else".

Is nothing sacred anymore???  4 years old?!  A bouncy house for gods sake!!  What is this world coming to?

After we had that moment out of the way we moved on to how to parent during that tough, horrible moment.  We agreed you couldn't hit the kid - it was illegal, unfortunately.  (We had to remind ourselves of that a few times....)   We agreed you couldn't hit the parent becuase let's be serious, they could be a total nut job.  So the only alternative is to help your child, your baby, through the bullying just as we were helped by our loved ones.

I hope you read this one day and know your Mom truly gets it.

My Dear Olivia Michelle, 

This letter is for you to read when you are sad, feel alone, and like the world is against you.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I WAS PICKED ON - A LOT.

THE PERSON STANDING NEXT TO YOU AT THE STORE WAS ALSO PICKED ON.

ONE DAY YOU WILL FIND PEOPLE THAT LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE.  I  PROMISE!

WHEN YOU'VE HAD YOUR FEELINGS HURT, THERE IS NOTHING TO BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT.  

I know because I was there.  Not because of spina bifida or some other "disability", just for being a kid that was different in some way from everyone else.  

Exhibit A that Mom "gets it":

In 4th grade I got glasses 6 months into starting a new school.  I went from semi-popular to bottom of the barrel practically overnight.  My "friends" wrote a play about me where I got beat up (perhaps worse, I really blocked out the details) and I didn't go to my last two weeks of school because they made me feel so horrible.  Then we moved back to Illinois. (Thank goodness!!!)

Photo from 1992 - pre-glasses - LAMEO huh? :)  (I can't find one of the time post glasses...I probably didn't want to take them after the play was written).  (Also, do kids even say lame anymore??)

Exhibit B:

During school my nickname was "Chewbacca" - like from Star Wars.  Funny right?  And now a days it may even be cool but this was way before Star Wars was cool.  Also I got the name because I had dark hair on my arms.  No seriously.  That happened. By my friends - people I actually liked (and still do like).  

So what is the point of sharing these two examples (of many more)?

Because YOU WILL THRIVE!  Each time you encounter a stumble you WILL get back up.  Children can be cruel, mean, and vicious.  BUT are also very loving, caring, developing, nurturing, and supportive.  For all the mean there was ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS good. 

And remember sometimes a friend can hurt your feelings but still be part of the good!  Don't forget that either.

FORGIVE as much as humanly possible.

FIND THE GOOD baby girl.  It is there, I promise.

FIND WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

NEVER BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN YOU!!!

For all the tough days there will be soooooo many days of light.  I can't wait to help you discover them!

This message isn't just to my Olivia.  It is to all children bullied, picked on, and just feeling down.  YOU WILL GET PAST IT.  You will.  Don't let the bullies and meanies win!

I love you, 

Mom

One hard lesson I am going to need to learn as a parent:  Kids get picked on.  It doesn't matter what you do to protect them, it's bound to happen at some point.  And I think that our job as parents is to help them learn a life lesson, treat others with respect, and to move on & be stronger because of it.  At least I think that is the lesson.....I am probably missing about a thousand other lessons......

I love you baby girl (and any other future kids of ours that may ever read this!)!  A lot a lot a lot!!!  XXXXXOOOOO

From one of my favorite books I read Livie:

"Hope and peace and love and trust, all the world is all of us." ~ All the World by Liz Gartin Scanlon

Every time I read this book it makes me think if the millions and millions of amazing humans in this world, all hoping to raise their child in a better environment too.  We can do it!

Be Happy.  Laugh.  Enjoy Chaos.